קאווע שטיבל

געפילטע פיש האט געשריבן:

וועפערייזער האט געשריבן:און די דזשאוק איז אז די דזשאואיש קראניקלס (א כמו פריי-רעליגעיזע צייטונג) האט עס געדרוקט .

גגלת ומצאת תאמין
www.thejc.com/node/85893

It’s pointless dropping hints when the town is agog so let’s get things hanging out in the open.

Rumours and allegations abound concerning a prominent North West Rabbi and senior member of no less than the Union of Hebrew Congregations who is actively engaged in marriage counselling. Since speaking out of turn during prayers will win you instant expulsion from this eminent Rabbi’s shul one must be sparing with one’s words. Suffice it to say that when a marriage is on the rocks one side of the equation can always rely on a ready rock to lean against.

Before however you blame the internet which this Rabbi campaigns prominently against we can confirm that, rumours of a Blackberry aside, hypocrisy is one crime not being laid at his door and he has remained steadfast to his preaching. Boruch Hashem none of the allegation concern virtual activity and it is said he was physical to the bitter or lovely end, depending which end you were at. After all if breeches are your legwear it’s only half a job getting out of them.

Things however turned rather rocky when one or more of the counselled got the wrong end of the stick and threatened to report some of his pastoral work to the old bill. To appreciate the extent of the chutzpe, years of covering up may now go up in smoke due to some oversensitive soul. And we ain’t talking plain smoke and nor was this a plain cover-ups. If reports are true there was a ‘heter’ so long that the touching was via a towel. (Who was that apikores who said where there’s rabbinic will there is a halachic way?) Once things get under way though towels can become a bit of a dampener but true to form halachic propriety was always maintained since all the rumours end where the deed itself begins. Shallos, as we all know, can become a messy business.

We said we will not waste our words and we shall keep to that. We must however bear in mind that this prominent rabbi is also pretty senior in a girls school with impeccable tznius credentials. It was therefore inevitable that some Golders Greener blinded by faith in his rabbi would want more. Why, someone suggested, not demonstrate to the eager pupils one’s immense love for Hashem or what about a live exhibition of how to prostrate oneself on Yom Kippur? It pains me to say that the suggestion was dimissed since it was felt one-to-one sessions produce superior results.

We must unfortunately end for we cannot compete with an eloquent brother who urged people to consider the mesiras nefesh in preventing Jewish homes from falling apart. Isn’t it chazal who teach us a 3-legged chair (ménage à trois bela”z) is far steadier than a table for 2? The moral of the story surely must be to Start the Day the Torah Way where we are told ‘and your daughters you should give to men’. And if 30 minute lectures are too much why not try a pre-neilah sermon lamenting the proliferation of extra-marital affairs. That is of course the affair of a rabbi, if nothing else.

So if your daughters are from Stamford Hill continue sending them up Archway in busloads where they will be in the safer hands of the broad minded North Westerners. And if you are fortunate enough to pay council tax at Barnet rates (and your son’s molestation hasn’t been hushed up) cleave your rabbi to your bosom, worship the very pants that behold his eminent grace and cherish every last moment in his exalted presence for if he doesn’t fall on his sword he’s bound to be hoisted by his own petard. Or as they say in local parlance, strung up on the eiruv that fortunately is not his own.

Do not, as some ungracious pastors do, Show me the steep and thorny way to heaven; Whiles, like a puff'd and reckless libertine, Himself the primrose path of dalliance treads, And recks not his own rede

געפילטע פיש האט געשריבן:איך מיין אז דאס גייט זיין די ערשטע נישט אמת'ע ראמער אין דעם אשכול, שוין געווען איינס?

elter-zeide האט געשריבן:דאס אז מ'איז חושד רבנים איז נישט א נייע זאך, דאס האט זיך שוין אהנגעהויבן נאך ביי משה רבינו, אויפן פסוק (במדבר טז' ד') "וישמע משה ויפל על פניו" זאגט דער בעל הטורים, בגימטריא 'מכאן כי חשדוהו באשה', דאס איז א גמרא (סנהדרין קי'.) מה שמועה שמע אמר רבי שמואל בר נחמני שחשדהו מאשת איש,, אויך אין מועד קטן יט. רעט דערפין דע גמרא, אין דארט זאגט דע גמרא צי אז דאס איז פין שנאה, סא איז דאס נישט קיין נייעס, י

געפילטע פיש האט געשריבן:@NRHotline
Some Molester Protectors spread a rumor that I was arrested by the FBI for section 8 fraud - They wish.

געפילטע פיש האט געשריבן:איינער שיקט מיר א טעקטס אז נחום ראזענבערג איז ארעסטיר געווארן פאר סעקשען 8 פראוד? האלב מיליאן דאלער בעיל. מאכט סענס?

איחוד פעלד האט געשריבן:יאך וואלט געזאגט אז זיי ווייסען עפעס סחורה אויף אים און מען ווארענט אים אז ער גייט כאפען א מסירה.